I have always done my best angst driven activities over a good piece of music (crying, baking, eating said baking solo style, painting, journaling and even fighting- oh, how dramatic). Perhaps, I watched too many episodes of The Days of our Lives in my teens and early twenties.
It is often satisfying for me, when I am feeling overwhelmed, to imagine myself as a character in a music video of my own making. It is also a way for me to take control of whatever situation is picking apart the grey matter in my skull, with relentless ferocity, so that I can slow things down and visualize the outcome that I am seeking. And really, it is completely without added fat and will not cause a pesky hangover.
I have made mental image music videos to all of my favourite sad, happy, and celebratory songs since I was a small child. It was often the thing that most helped me to feel less lonely. I guess in some ways, it was my own homemade method of meditation. It was very useful when I was on lengthy road trips as an adolescent, as it also aided in stemming my boredom. This helped my siblings out in that I was rarely tempted to elbow them, pinch them or put gum in their hair while they were sleeping in the seat next to me.
All that it took for me to self soothe and slip away was my Sony Walkman and my Peter Gabriel, So tape.
Recently, I started thinking about the ways that I used to calm myself way back in the olden days(my children’s terminology for my life prior to their arrival). Before things such as wine, cigarettes and prescribed sedatives were at my disposal. These adult methods of soothing really have nothing to do with self, but rather take one very far away from self. Of course, paradoxically,they often have the effect of convincing you that you are indeed connected to something greater. The wine God is not without its own (huge) flock of followers.
I no longer want to be taken away from myself. I will turn 40 this year, time to grow up – or, “foot the bill” as a lovely relative of mine says.
So, this past New Years, rather than making a resolution, I opted to make a mental image music video visualizing what I would like to see in my life for the upcoming year. I chose a piece of music that had very few lyrics and is lengthy enough to make an epic video. I then picked four words ( no particular reason, except that four is a fair number, unlike third wheel three ) that I want as the tagline descriptors of my life in 2013.
They are, in no particular order; Courage ,Strength, Kindness and Compassion.
Give it a try – pick four words, or five or ten and then press play on the video. You can even chant them out loud (often best advised that any children of the teenage persuasion are at school, as this can do more to deflate your self-esteem than to inflate it if said teenager screams out, “You are SO weird!” mid chant) or in your head in time to the music.
Throughout the song, imagine where you will be at this time next year.
I bet that you’ll be a superhero, lady.